You didnt eat in the morning and your gf made you late to
TEH airport [ocd cleaning] to pick up her brother and the traffic on the highway almost made you late to dinner at 2pm and there was a cooler on the back porch when you walked up no
two coolers and you grabbed an ULTRA for yourself and your gfs handsome brother and the icy cold beer went right to your head i mean what did you expect you
never drink anymore and the buzz descended right away and they were all waiting for you i…
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on November 30, 2009 at 8:30am —
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Lang Jim to me show details 5:52 PM (15 hours ago)
Good day to you over there, my son was born 12th APRIL 1996, i
got your advert on the internet so i want my
child to be taught by you. james is 14 year old and easily catch up,easy
going his neat boy and gentle and intelligent,he loves education and
atlethics. Although,i understand you are in US but i've arranged with
my Nanny associate that my son is coming to stay with him for the period
of the tutoring and he has agreed with me he will be in…
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on November 6, 2009 at 6:57am —
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Maybe you haven't been sleeping at night. Maybe you've been doing your best Margaret Houlihan and taking care of 3 H1n1's, 2 sinus colds, 2 secondary infections and a solo bout of pneumonia. Maybe you realize you've just been daydreaming in a chair with blue pleather cushions. Maybe Wolf Hall is open and sitting in your lap, daring you to force the dancing words to hold their assigned positions long enough for you to read them.
A woman is speaking. She ruined your daydream.
Or was it your nap?…
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on October 21, 2009 at 1:30pm —
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She goes hi Kent.
He goes hi Sherilyn. So nice to finally meet you in person.
Sherilyn goes you too Kent. I mean. I think we've spent enough time online and on the phone don't you? Sherilyn crinkles her eyes and smiles. Kent thinks to himself: man her teeth are white.
He nods and smiles back at her. They shake hands.
Kent and Sherilyn decided to meet at O'Flannery's and they are standing just inside the large oak doors. Irish music is playing. Choruses of NO-NAY-NEVER escape from hidden spea…
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on September 24, 2009 at 8:30am —
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second order of beeswax:
my running shorts - the kind that come with the underwear inside - rubbed a little bit of skin off the head of my penis.
think middle-top-mushroom. right below the lemonade slit. a little red dot that looks up at me and says why johnny [i mean ty] why do you treat me this way?
fuckin wild right? a talking penis abrasion.
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL.
anyway. i'm gonna go read more of your deep fuckin words my love and ruminate on how easily you ruin websites i like.
kis…
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on September 6, 2009 at 10:00am —
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oh.
poor you.
poor wronged YOU.
here. lemme stop what i am doing and take time out of my superduperbusyday to tell you that it ain't always gonna be this way.
i swear it. on everything.
no way no how. you are too pretty. inside and out.
listen.
look into my hise. you are indeed special. just like your mom said.
honest injun.
sweet girl. hold your head high.
and until the blue skies arrive keep the kleenex close sweet tender heart.
trooper.
slogger of campaigns.
endurer. emotional ag…
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on August 29, 2009 at 6:00am —
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WE ENCOURAGE HONEST WRITING YADA YADA....
.... WE FIND IT NECESSARY
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on August 27, 2009 at 12:43pm —
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you sit up in the dark and the sky is black. a beautiful girl is sleeping naked next to you. her body is warm and inviting.
your pillows look so soft.
1000 count sheets.
you force yourself to move. you blink forty hundred times and call yourself crazy for rising at such an ungodly hour and walk downstairs and swallow two glasses of water while the dogs whine. there is no option but to open the back door for them. fifteen seconds later they bark the entire neighborhood awake.
you pour maybe l…
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on August 22, 2009 at 7:00pm —
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there is this guy ok [hero] and he is sitting at dinner in a mediterranean restaurant with a girl [hot] and a baby [eating puffs] and the waitress comes over and her body and voice [foghorn leghorn] fill up the space next to the table and she goes can i take your drink order and the girl [hot] does not look up from her menu and says to the guy [hero] umm dude go ahead and the guy [hero] looks up and says to ms foghorn leghorn...
well -
actually -
wait -
you need a bit of background info befo…
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on August 16, 2009 at 5:43am —
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dr mr bsmith thank you for querying us but your project is not a good fit.
[repeat one drillion times and cry cry cry.]
have a bless day.
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on August 11, 2009 at 5:55am —
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on August 5, 2009 at 7:10am —
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Attn. Ms. Shutmedown:
Chance's life takes an unexpected turn when he goes to rent a car with a friend.
The title of my novel is Sing. The dude in the book goes here and there and everywhere and his life is pretty depressing even though he has a trust fund and an expensive whip. In short, dude is lonely. Something horrible happened when he was a kid. As a result, homeboy does a lot of drugs. And he drinks. He also has huge issues with germs. Fortunately, he gets a lot of ass from cute girls, wh…
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on August 4, 2009 at 6:30am —
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on August 3, 2009 at 5:38am —
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yeah words yeah sleeping babies yeah i dont wanna walk around with you up loud yeah the voice of suburban rebellion comes thru youtube right and we gets mad when it aint in HQ but lookit sometimes those HQ videos aint all that HQ after all are they no fuck no
fuck you
dude
ok
thats not what punk is punk is young ron reyes living in a closet in a church in LA or really like idk what punk is in fact i really dont care hi my llamo [lah-mow] is tyrell dont you fuckin forget it pretty soon the bi…
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on July 30, 2009 at 5:38am —
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whatthefuckisupwiththat?
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on July 29, 2009 at 6:01am —
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Chuckles and Charlie
Ty Bluesmith
Charlie has a problem with her leg.
Specifically: a giant sore that starts just below the ankle and almost makes it to the knee. The sore drips funky colored shit on her filthy Ked all day long and together
the whole enchilada smells.
Next item of business.
Chuckles has mental problems. He also thinks he is cool. Like for example dude is 50 but calls every woman Momma.
Listen.
Both of those motherfuckers like to drink. Pints and pints of shit. Total shit.…
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on July 22, 2009 at 8:00am —
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umm yeah hi my name is tyrell and umm i was hoping no
check it
i was wondering if you would take a look at my manuscript i mean so-and-so said you are a supadupa agent and ah well funny thing yo that is exactly what i am looking for
a supadupa agent to take care of me and ensure that like i umm only have to type what i want from here to eternity or like even if you could put off reality for like a year or some shit hell six months really
i mean like
wow
that would be so fuckin cool you kno…
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on July 15, 2009 at 5:29pm —
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if you see a guy with my garmin, bluetooth, and iPod plz kick him in the face for me thanks god bless.
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on July 15, 2009 at 5:19am —
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sarah gets up from the table and walks to the bathroom. after the busboy [mexicano skinny mustache] refills our water [distilled] care quietly says dude i hate that fat bitch.
i go which fat bitch?
care goes sarah.
my fork freezes in midair. i sigh and put a piece of smoked grilled zucchini [balsamic] in my mouth. i chew slowly.
care clears her throat.
ty. i mean. did you see her jeans? could they be tighter?
i swallow a sip of water.
i go those jeans look like they cost a million dollars…
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on July 12, 2009 at 6:15pm —
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what if like oh
idk
what if like one day when you were a kid - or perhaps even an adult - you discovered something you thought was totally pure and powerful and made you feel alive so
fucking alive man like
for the very first time in the history of your sad lonely life ok
and the thing we are talking about fit into your palm like a neat little box like something pretty made in china maybe lace or perhaps an unnamed opaque fabric [tied with a glossy ribbon] around a bunch of candied mints or…
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on July 8, 2009 at 6:30pm —
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