second order of beeswax:
my running shorts - the kind that come with the underwear inside - rubbed a little bit of skin off the head of my penis.
think middle-top-mushroom. right below the lemonade slit. a little red dot that looks up at me and says why johnny [i mean ty] why do you treat me this way?
fuckin wild right? a talking penis abrasion.
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL.
anyway. i'm gonna go read more of your deep fuckin words my love and ruminate on how easily you ruin websites i like.
kis…
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on September 6, 2009 at 10:00am —
Comments
umm yeah hi my name is tyrell and umm i was hoping no
check it
i was wondering if you would take a look at my manuscript i mean so-and-so said you are a supadupa agent and ah well funny thing yo that is exactly what i am looking for
a supadupa agent to take care of me and ensure that like i umm only have to type what i want from here to eternity or like even if you could put off reality for like a year or some shit hell six months really
i mean like
wow
that would be so fuckin cool you kno…
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on July 15, 2009 at 5:29pm —
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sarah gets up from the table and walks to the bathroom. after the busboy [mexicano skinny mustache] refills our water [distilled] care quietly says dude i hate that fat bitch.
i go which fat bitch?
care goes sarah.
my fork freezes in midair. i sigh and put a piece of smoked grilled zucchini [balsamic] in my mouth. i chew slowly.
care clears her throat.
ty. i mean. did you see her jeans? could they be tighter?
i swallow a sip of water.
i go those jeans look like they cost a million dollars…
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on July 12, 2009 at 6:15pm —
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what if like oh
idk
what if like one day when you were a kid - or perhaps even an adult - you discovered something you thought was totally pure and powerful and made you feel alive so
fucking alive man like
for the very first time in the history of your sad lonely life ok
and the thing we are talking about fit into your palm like a neat little box like something pretty made in china maybe lace or perhaps an unnamed opaque fabric [tied with a glossy ribbon] around a bunch of candied mints or…
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on July 8, 2009 at 6:30pm —
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and here in old ohio where actual seasons take place last fall can seem like totally long ago ok?
and like these certain specific two sentences
that are fucking with me - sugar hill gang on pandora btw -
anyway. hold on. i lost my train of thought.
sorry.
oh. right.
the two sentences that are fucking with me.
THEY ARE FUCKING WITH ME.
i did caps lock so you know i am serious.
becuz i am.
like a motherfucker. like robin hood.
like i will use similes until i die becuz they look so dang…
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on June 16, 2009 at 9:12am —
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and we comment or you comment
or
i comment and then of course some other ppl comment like your homies and your clique
etc etc.
right?
anyway.
so like i type and you type and they type and we all type.
type
type
type.
three point some decades of the asdf up in this bitch.
type.
i type and you type and the ball spins and the jpegs get sent and the sneaky phone calls happen
and then
if we are lucky
- and shit goes our way and we get good with THE VERNACULAR AND THE WRITING STYLE -
we…
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on June 14, 2009 at 2:00pm —
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Officer Demetrius Quintero said Bobby pull over there’s a naked chick running out of that house up there on the right.
Officer Bobby Coyle said I see her D get ready.
Quintero said copy.
Bobby stopped quickly about ten feet from the girl.
She screamed help help me help they have guns. Quintero said wait by the car and ran toward the house. Bobby was right behind him. Quintero touched every other step on the way up. Bobby did the same.
Quintero had been on the force for nine years. Bobby thi…
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on June 11, 2009 at 9:00pm —
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The gravel crunched beneath their feet. Matty looked into the passenger seat of the empty car. Miguel said look dude the driver’s window is down.
Matty was like he’s home for sure.
Miguel said hold up a second I see someone in the back yard. He walked out of sight. Matty stood still and kept an eye on the windows. After a minute or so the front door opened and the little blonde stripper girl stuck her head outside and said your friend wants you to come inside.
Matty was wearing a white unders…
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on June 11, 2009 at 5:58am —
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She Called Him Mr. Doctor
And he called her Baby Girl. They met at a Halloween party. Hence the stupid nicknames.
Anyway. Baby Girl told Mr. Doctor that she was a cocktail waitress at a gentleman's club and he said he owned a bunch of properties on campus that he rented to students during the school year.
A week or two later Mr. Doctor showed up at the club and quickly discovered that Baby Girl was not a cocktail waitress. Nossir.
Not at all.
Honestly. Mr. Doctor didn't care all that…
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on June 10, 2009 at 7:30am —
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he goes i have it in my brain but it won't come out and
she goes won't come out or you won't write it and he replies fuck
man
cut me some slack for a half second would ya?
fine she says. but i think you're acting like a baby becuz of the rejection on the other thing
ENOUGH he says
i will write the motherfucker.
--------------------
PEE STORY
T.A.B. III
It was like 5 a.m. and the one guy was getting married the next day and his boy the drug dealer
no
check it
his boy the best man was o…
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on June 7, 2009 at 6:30pm —
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Hi Ty -
Unfortunately, I have bad news. Our publisher reduced the size of the anthology by a little more than fifty pages. After a long review session, your piece and two others were selected for elimination.
I apologize that this is happening at such a late date.
However, while I cannot do anything for you as far as the anthology goes, I do have a personal contact at [edit] magazine who is interesting in purchasing some freelance work from you. Please feel free contact Marny BlahBlittyBlah a…
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on June 6, 2009 at 6:30pm —
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he drove downtown
they went downtown
the entire world was downtown and
he entered a private lot and a sign instructed him not to park in the lot but he was gonna anyway ok becuz
the girl needed to go into the bldg attached to the lot and
the lot was framed by red bricks and the bldg was red brick and
he backed his shit into the parking space and the baby was asleep in his seat and the two-yr-old was snoozing in hers and the girl
melinda maria dejesus bonaventura cruz said sweet boy i'll be r…
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on June 1, 2009 at 5:00am —
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i went to a party [we went to a party] and the neighborhood was alla that etc etc and one of the little boys there his parents live in like a palace in an even better neighborhood and that ain't no fuckin joke well anyway you should prolly also know at this point that the dad is in fla most of the time running his company and also the little boy has two sisters and as a result he is kinda starved for male attention and he's a lil blond guy and has the glasses that turn dark outside and he knows…
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on May 18, 2009 at 12:01pm —
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Added by Ty Bluesmith on May 7, 2009 at 9:56am —
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baby you are the best writer ever i swear
