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He reached out a large, meaty hand. “Hello, name's Riaan.”
He had a thick Afrikaans accent, a giant of a man with long, curly, somehow inappropriate hair atop his bulky frame. I took his hand reluctantly and introduced myself.
“Adam.”
“Can I buy you a beer?” he asked.
I shrugged non-committally, pointing at my half-full pint, hoping to discourage further interaction from this stranger.
“Look,” he said. “I know I'm being forward, but this is important. Let me buy you a beer, dammit.”
I did not wa… Continue

Shock news today as Douglas Fairbody the renowned architect was sacked from the Westminster Renovation Programme. Mr Fairbody, famous for the controversial introduction of stained glass solar panels at Canterbury Cathedral, had proposed to install an eco friendly water system that would take purified urine from the lavatories and feed it back in to the drinking supply.… Continue

Most of my my friends are dead. It’s not surprising really, because so am I. My friends and I dwell with countless others in a place that is neither life nor oblivion. I don’t know why we didn’t pass through, but there it is.

It is frightfully dull, dead dull you might say, nothing to do all day but hang around, observing the life below, talking. Mostly we talk of regrets, regrets at things we did not do, the way we were in life, the fact that we did not make better use of our time. Perhaps thi… Continue

She was sitting alone at the table, wearing a red rose in her lapel – the agreed sign. I kept my rose in my pocket, waiting. I wanted to scout the scene first, see what Ellie123 looked like. After all, I didn’t want to spend the evening with a complete minger. No, life was too short, and my image too fragile. To my delight she looked fairly attractive. Petite, blonde, soft eyes – she would do. The glasses were a bit of a turn off, though. I hoped she wasn’t the bookish type.
In the end I decided… Continue

It came to pass long ago, when the earth was young and the internet a fishing term, that a baby boy was born to the farmer and his wife. The farmer was immensely pleased, as he had worked hard to build up his farm and needed a son to help him at his labours. The boy grew up quickly into a fine, handsome young lad of golden disposition, however it soon became apparent to the farmer and his wife that their son was bone idle. At first his mother attributed it to an artistic strain in their family,… Continue